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Pick-Up Lines – the Good, the Bad, and the Truly Disgusting

I think most women have been assaulted by some bad pick-up lines in their lives. Fortunately, I’m in the minority. I’ve been married for 16 years, and prior to that, I didn’t do much dating. Don’t get me wrong, if a guy asked me out, I almost always said yes. I was broke and a date meant a free dinner and a movie. (Don’t judge me — it was just a date.) But I was too busy going to school and working to worry much about dating.

Anyway, I can’t recall any pick-up lines, good, bad, or disgusting. Maybe they were just so bad, I blocked them from memory. I’ve seen them in movies and on TV, but in real life? Not so much.

I met my husband at the beginning of my senior year of high school. I worked at a hot dog stand and he came in for food one night. While waiting for his food, he asked, “Do you want to join the Marines?”

I laughed and informed him I planned to go to college, but thanks anyway. At the time, I didn’t consider this a pick-up line, but now, looking back and knowing my husband, it totally was. It had my co-worker flitting up to the counter to take his recruiter’s business card. She had zero interest in enlisting in the military, so I guess it worked.

Since I write about single women finding love, whether they’re looking for it or not, I wanted to see if I could find some interesting lines. Here’s a clip that highlights some really bad ones.

Warning: Don’t drink while watching.

I don’t know how the guys managed to stay straight-faced while asking a woman if she farted. Farts? Boogers? Toilet water? Can any guy really think this will interest a woman?

I write contemporary romance. I can’t see one of my heroes ever using farts as a pick-up line. It’s just not sexy. Maybe if I wrote about pre-teen boys. I’m sure my son would find that humorous. But I don’t think even he would consider using that as a means to get a girl.

What’s the worst pick-up line you’ve ever heard? How about any really good lines?

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About Shannyn Schroeder

Mom of 3, editor, and contemporary romance writer

8 responses »

  1. Bad line? Here an old favorite. “Ya know, Gorgeous, if ya just hang with me, these other freaks would stop bothering you.”

    There are oh so many more.

    Reply
  2. No one’s ever used a pick-up line on me before- I would feel left out except those are really really bad!

    Reply
  3. I’m bummed I just saw this today. It totally would have gone in my mash-up because it was hilarious. I actually like the fart line. But, I think farts are funny. Those weren’t so bad because the goal was to be funny and the guys came across that way. The worst line I heard was at a frat party in college. I was sitting on a couch with another girl when a guy walked up to us. He sat on the arm and patted the couch. Then he said, “You like this couch, it folds out into a bed.” And then he winked. I remember throwing up in my mouth a little. And I hadn’t really been drinking.

    Reply
    • Farts are funny – in a juvenile way. I don’t know if I could take a guy seriously if that’s how he tried to pick me up. At least it would get a laugh out of me, which is more than I can say for the guy and his couch.

      Reply
  4. Emma shouldn’t feel so bad look how long it took me to find this post. Dang! I was laughing! Loved it! Okay, the first horrible pick-up line I remember was, “Would you like some gum?” The guy opened his mouth and showed me his chewed gum like I was supposed to go after it with my tongue. No thank you. Second, weaker and lame line, “Want to see my garage?” Huh?!?!? Do I look like a car that needs parking? WTH

    Reply

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